Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize