Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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