Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
