Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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