if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
