How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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