I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
