Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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