I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
