What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
