I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
