i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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