I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
