smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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