I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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