the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
