Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
