Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
