are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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