You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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