there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
