I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
