It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
