So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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