they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
honey bunches of taint.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
