Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
