As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
