At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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