I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
