I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
