Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
