he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
