This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
