I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
