I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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