the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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