when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
