So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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