hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
