dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
