i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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