yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
