Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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