I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
