I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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