have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i came on her dog
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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