someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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