I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
