20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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