First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
