That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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