you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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