no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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