Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
