I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
