I heard we made out
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
