Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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